January-February

We are accepting Super Single Mom grant applications once again! Please go to the Grant page for details!

Please note, this grant is designed only for single moms who are still raising their kids. Also, please send a current picture of you and your children along with your completed application form.

Dear Dani,

I am a single mom with two teenagers. It seems we're always misunderstanding what the other is trying to say. Often, I'll be talking to one of my kids - or he/she to me- and we will end up all feeling frustrated and feeling not heard nor understood. Why is communication so hard with your own kids?

All talked out in Scottsdale, Arizona

Dear ATO,

Good, clear communication is indeed very challenging. It doesn't matter who we're talking with. We all want to be heard and understood. But sometimes this desire gets in the way of hearing the other person. So, what results is people talking at one another, not really listening to each other, with true empathy.

When you truly listen to what another is saying and you listen from the heart, that other person is going to feel validated. This will most likely prompt him/her to want to reciprocate.

A good exercise in communicating is something I learned in Nonviolent Communication (founded by Rosenberg) where you not only "mirror" what the other is saying but you tell them what you hear them saying and how it makes you feel. You make sure you understand what they have said by asking them, "is that right?"

Then you get to say how you feel and how you might have interpreted a situation and the one listening gets to reflect back what he heard you say to make sure he really understood. The point is to make statements without judgements/labels/accusations/comparisons, etc. (It's hard at first).

I highly recommend Marshall Rosenberg's book, Nonviolent Communication (A language of life) to everyone!

It could change your relstionships.

It could change your life!

Danielle

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